Coming Soon: Rambo

Heroes Never Die... They Just Reload

Or so reads the tagline of the lastest Stallone revisit to the 80s. Yes, John Rambo is back. And he's doing charity work. Kinda.

We rejoin the ultimate 80s action hero as he lives the quiet life as a fisherman in Bangkok, Thailand (Insert 'shooting fish' joke here) where he has happily retired after single-handedly destroying the entire Vietcong and achieving something that even JFK, Johnson, Ford and Nixon couldn't do.

Soon though, this quiet life is interrupted by a group of Christian human rights missionaries, led by Michael Burnett (Paul Schulze; Ryan Chappelle in 24) and Sarah Miller, (Julie Benz; Darla in Buffy/Angel and Rita in Dexter) who want to rent his boat to travel up the river to Burma. Burma, in case you don't know, is a bit like Vietnam. It's a war zone and a human rights nightmare.

After some consideration and advice from an old mentor, Rambo takes on 'his most deadly mission yet.' Taking on the entire Burmese military, led by Major Pa Tee Tint (Played by newcomer Maung Maung Khin) with only five mercenaries to help him out.

The film also features English actor Matthew Marsden (DOA: Dead Or Alive, Resident Evil: Extinction, Coronation Street) but doesn't, as rumoured, feature Lost's Matthew Fox. I have no idea why, but I'm betting he wishes he was in it, what with the writers having a laze around and all and holding up season four of Lost.

Will Rambo save the day, Burma, the world and the American way? I suspect he will. But I'll still be at the cinema watching to find out.

Rambo opens in the US on January 25th, the UK on February 22nd, and Japan on June 28th. But if you're really desperate to see it, you can fly out to Greece, Russia or Singapore and watch it on January 24th.